When your parents call you by your full name
remember when you used to be real secretive about reading smutty fanfiction and making sure you were the only one in the room and now you read that shit at the dinner table like it’s nothing
Why do people act like being a vampire is so fucking great. You can’t eat garlic bread so what’s the point
Okay first of all fuck garlic bread
What the fuck. What thef. Uck. You come on here, you come into my house, you take a shit on my post you shit on garlic bread, you shit on everything I stand for, on this, the day of my daughter’s wedding… .